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Press it! Are these the very best tunes to give birth to?

Name: Songs to give birth to.

Age: Women have actually been giving birth considering that for ever, and presumably some have always picked to do so to music. But this is about some current research study into the songs and artists most typically listened to during labour.

Is Press It by Salt-N-Pepa on there? “Ah push it … Ah, push it … Ooh, baby, child …” Should be. Not even on the list.

Delighted Birthday by Stevie Wonder? Also not there.

Queen! I Want To Break Free? That needs to be. Nope. Don’t forget that people currently giving birth are likely to be under 70.

Got it! Sweet Kid O’Mine, Guns N’ Roses. With Father playing air guitar at the end of the bed. No. Right, have we got the lame gags out of the way? Here’s a clue, it’s not almost comedy titles, it seems individuals might in fact wish to listen to music they like at this demanding, emotional time. This is some actual research study looking at Spotify playlists.

And [adopts Tony Blackburn voice] this week’s No 1, Top of the Pops, that’s pops as in [makes popping sound] is … Hang on, charts get counted down, to one, remember? At No 5, with Considering Loud, it’s Ed Sheeran!

Inevitably. Zzzz. Next? No 4 is shared by the Lumineers (Ho Hey) and Ben Howard (Just Love). No 3 is Adele (Make You Feel My Love), No 2 is Jason Mraz (I Won’t Give Up) …

So generally a lot of soppy love tunes. Go on then, what’s No 1? Jack Johnson: Better Together. The typical bpm of the songs in the Leading 10 is 110, if that’s of interest.

Not actually. Are these playlists by novice moms, who think childbirth is going to be a lovely dreamy experience? I doubt it, but Dreams by Fleetwood Mac remains in there at No 10.

And the child comes moving out on a skateboard, most likely. Isn’t there a punk song called Shut Up and Offer Me a F ** king Epidural? Do not understand that a person. Could I suggest Heroin by the Velvet Underground? Similar belief.

What are my other choices? At the top of the Spotify United States birthing playlist, produced with the obstetrician Dr Jacque Moritz and “scientifically created” to accompany females through delivering, is Pearl Jam’s Just Breathe. A minimum of there is some sensible advice.

Do sing: “Mmm, it’s constantly better when we’re together/ Yeah, we’ll look at the stars when we’re together/ Well, it’s constantly better when we’re together/ Yeah, it’s constantly much better when we’re together …”

Don’t sing: “Here comes the kid, do …” Or at least, just if it’s a young boy.

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